Honesty and Loyalty
Thursday, January 27, 2011 @ 10:12 PM
I am thorn between the two. This isn't the first time i thought of such things and again, i always try to convince myself that eventually everything will turn out alright. But no matter how hard i try to bring myself to believe this little "hope", i am still feeling unsure and uncertain about things.
So he is from another race and he doesn't believe of such great power. But I do. And its really hard for me to think about it. I mean its because the way we were brought up is different. I was born without a choice of choosing the religion I want to uphold and I have never regretted that. As for him, he was given a choice. And after doing his own research, he finds it hard to believe there is such great power. I don't mind that.
I love him so much, I accept his beliefs. I mean after all, isn't that what love and relationship is all about? You should learn to accept faults and ideologies even when they are different from yours. Likewise, you should also at least try to understand reasons, feelings and behaviors.
But it really bothered me when people start talking and giving me the idea that its never going to work out between me and him, about how one of us have to sacrifice, about how he have to convert, about how tough it is going to be, about how his parents might not accept me for being with or making their son convert, about how i might break the relationship of a mother and son, about how difficult it could get then how easy we could argue.. About how we could just end up with tears and goodbyes..
Sigh.. Life is hard. I want to be loyal to both my religion and him. But how can I do so without hurting anybody? Especially not his parents?
Dear God, please help me in this one.. If we're meant to be together, please help me be patient while going through the ups and downs. But if we're not meant to be, please don't let us wait long because I don't think I can handle it especially when my hopes of being with him, till death do we part, is high. Please help us, please...
:'(
Labels: I wish I could convince myself that it will never be over between me and him
I'm nothing but a sad little birdie who likes to dye my feathers pink, or on some occasions, purple. Sometimes I feel like loving beige to the maximumest level but then my past would creep back on me and tell me, with extreme torture that my wings should be, well, pink.
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